I live in a place, where everyone expects you to be a certain way. There’s like, the good schools, and to have friends at these schools you need to be a certain way. I’ve gotten pretty used to it, but it sucks knowing that you aren’t being 100% yourself. Even your parents and teachers, they’re always saying how they want you to BE YOURSELF. It’s a lie. I mean your parents want you to be a certain way, someone they can be proud of.

My dad was in the army. I hate war.

I mean he never tried to impose his belief in war, but my mom recently told me “I don’t want you to become a hippie” and that was because I asked to go to some kind of art program for summer, she wanted something more mainstream. They haven’t seen my collage, which I am really proud of. Because each time I buy a book about drugs, or talk about them, I see them worry. So I’d rather not make them worry.

With my friends, its the same. I mean, I love my friends, we have a lot in common and we have so much fun together. But sometimes I keep quiet instead of say what I think, or I don’t dress how I would normally dress. It’s complicated. I guess that makes me a hypocrite in a way, I mean I say that normal bores me, yet I’m super normal. I try to show who I really am. Even more, lately. I decided I didn’t want to lose myself. I found some people that I can talk to, so its improving. But even though I’m inside, you feel like an outsider sometimes.


About expressionofme

Normal is boring. Inspiration can come when least expected. View all posts by expressionofme

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