Category Archives: good


“Do you wanna play with my Poke Balls?”

I apologize for opening with what you may find rude or insulting. When I read that supposed pick up line (Pokemon reference) I cracked up.

I was looking for a funny post, so I searched Funny. All this crap (no offense) about things being funny but not really, or why we thought this was funny bla bla bla appeared. Not one single post that made me laugh! Not one!

If I search “funny” I want laughs, not psychological talk. You, person who searched “funny” and read this, probably wanted the same. Thats why to make up for the rant, I put that hilarious pick up line. For the record, I really DO find it funny, but I laugh with almost anything.

“Is your dad a terrorist? Because your the bomb!”



Radiate Happiness

Today someone told me I “Radiate Happiness”.


Have you read this blog? If you haven’t go read one of my posts.They are the most depressing shit ever! (ok not ever, but they are pretty depressing.)

Its nice to know that hey! maybe I have hope.

I am aware that I am not the most beautiful girl out there, but If I can “radiate happiness” and maybe you know, make some people happy, even if its for a little bit, I’m happy. This is propbably the most wonderful compliment I have ever recieved, people have called be pretty and beautiful. But this one took the cake.


I hope you know my happiness after hearing this translates a little into this post. I’ll try to radiate happiness more than sadness, we should all try. Be happy everyone:) Right now, I am.


So I went to the shrink, and I am not depressed.


No, but seriously, he said I have mild symptoms that may or may not develop into depression. I’m sharing this with you, internet world, becuase you have absolutely no idea who I am.

Ahh, the safety of anonimity.

Even if you did know who I am, this is fact, so whatever. So, I got sleeping pills of some natural substance the brian makes to fix my fucked up sleeping patterns. That’s it, I have another date with the doctor in like a week, and we’ll see where it goes from there.

Also, my parents have changed around me, in result, I changed too. It’s not abad change, it was just weird. My parents are now giving more liberties and permissions and stuff. I think they didn’t expect their model kid to turn out depressed, or even close to that. So I believe this is an attempt to make me happy, so that it doesn’t develop into depression. Do not judge me, since that is my belief, I am trying very hard to not take advantage of it. No extra benefits being asked, I promise.

So now I am waiting. My parents are waiting too, but mostly me. I am waiting to see what happens, and I am ready to you know, face whatever does happen. So, whether I’m depressed or not, wish me luck. This is a tough world we live in.


Just a photograph. I just really like it (and yes I took it, so it’s mine).

Depressed? Yes, no, maybe.

Finally talked to my mother about my depression thoughts. I think I may be depressed but I’m not completely sure,however I still want to talk to someone, a professional, to get help. I didn’t give her all the details or all the reasons, mainly because she and my dad are a big part of the bad things, but I did come clean at least. I feel I’m on the right track.

Whether I have depression or not, I am getting my confirmation. Mom asked me if I would rather wait or talk to someone soon, I went with soon.

If I am depressed, I’m glad I’m getting help. For everyone out there, if you even think you could be depressed. Talk to a professional, make that call, before it develops into something more serious. If its not depression, you haven’t lost anything.


“Music first. The rest, we’ll figure it out”


Some people smoke, some drink, some do drugs, some cut, some read, some scream.

I listen to music. Sometimes, I feel like its not a very good outlet, because sometimes it just makes you feel even more emotional. Thing is, I’m not interested in dulling my emotions. Music has given me that option, to channel my emotions healthily. Hey, maybe I’ll be on my I-pod more than your average joe, but I won’t get drunk or high every other day.


Some people listen to happy songs when they’re sad, in an attempt to cheer up. I just like amplify my mood with the songs I hear, anger equals hard rock, sadness-sad songs etc etc. Whatever I’m listening to just makes my feelings grow, it’s not weird for me to cry with a song if I’m sad.


So yeah, Music, my healthy outlet.


I mean, as long as we keep
living, there is always hope.
And that is beautiful.
And that sets us free.
Anything can happen.
We just gotta keep trying.

-Nic Sheff


These are among the most inspiring words I had ever read. They come from Nic Sheff’s blog, google it.

I mean, I always worry about what I will do with my life, will it be good, will I succeed?


The truth is, even if I take APs (which I should be doing now), hard classes, get into a good school, get a good job. My happiness, and the worth of my life doesn’t depend on that. I put the value on my life. I decide to make it worthwhile, maybe a diploma makes it worthwhile, maybe my friend’s laugh, or the eyes of the guy I like make it worthwhile. Maybe it’s all of it.